Nothing Witty

11Dec10

Just feeling rather meh.

Not quite sure what to make of things with Dex – going from talking on a daily basis to not hearing from him for days on end is not really sitting well with me.  In fact, I’m taking it as a downright rejection of sorts.  A very slow moving rejection.

Here’s the thing – I’m tired of initiating the conversation every few days because he doesn’t bother trying to talk to me.  When we do talk it’s great, fun flirty banter.  Totally seems interested.  But when we’re not talking?  It’s just this huge cold wall of whatever.

I don’t expect that he should have to try and keep in touch with me on a daily basis, but I just feel like he should be making some kind of effort to not leave me hanging in the wind.  It’s not endearing, it’s not making me want him more, it’s just making me feel like ass.

So I’m implementing the one week rule – if he hasn’t initiated contact by then, I’m writing him off.  As it is I’m getting the impression he’s not that interested (once again promoting the merit of having sex early in the dating process is stupid), and therefore I’m just going to try and get over this collosal fuckwittage.

Having been sick earlier this week and feeling vulnerable and self-conscious about my appearance, this isn’t exactly doing wonders to help restore my self-esteem to a level of normality.  In fact, I’m so emotionally drained after everything that I want to curl up and cry.  And I don’t cry, like hardly ever.  It’s not because of the boy, just the situation on top of various other things.  I guess I’m reaching the purge portion of my binge session for 2010.

I think the worst part of the entire situation isn’t that I necessarily wanted a relationship with him, because I really don’t know him well enough to consider that an option.  I liked him, don’t get me wrong, but the only thing I really wanted was clarity as to what this was – are we becoming friends, or is he interested in going on more dates, or does he just want to be fuckbuddies, or nothing at all?  His actions in person say one thing, his emails another, and his distance a completely other thing.  And it just frustrates me beyond belief.  Gah.

Also, I subscribed to failmony’s service since they had a ridiculously cheap promo going.  I’ve been communicating with two other guys, but meh.  Don’t really feel into it these days.

/emo-drama

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2 Responses to “Nothing Witty”

  1. 1 h

    If, at the end of the week, you decide to swear off him, at least tell him why.

    Guys can also be clueless sometimes, as an alternative to the machinations of playing Game(tm).

    PS: Are you going to see “I Love You, Phillip Morris”? I hear Canadia’s finest actor is in top form.

    And PPS: You rock plenty. Don’t dare obsess over personal lack thereof.

    • 2 keewt

      Had the one week hit though, I would have emailed him. I couldn’t be that cold to just cut him out entirely. I don’t think there will be any swearing off as of yet – we saw each other today for breakfast and spent the day hanging out. In that we got some talking done, he doesn’t want to just be friends with benefits and he wants to keep dating. So that’s some positive news I suppose. Actually he’s agreed to go with me to Darwin’s xmas party next weekend (since it was the only time that would be more than 2 hrs together), which I’m still baffled about.

      You’re right about the ‘sometimes clueless’ thing, and I’m probably guilty of the same thing. Hence the emofest. I think we’re closer to being on the same page .. not perfectly, but better anyway. At least we’re both equally inept at communicating what we think/feel.

      P.S. Never heard of it, I’ll have to look it up. Thanks for the recommendation.

      P.P.S. thank you for that 🙂


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