Evolutionary Bounds


Friday night was date night with Dex, in fact date number three (if anyone was counting).    I got impatient in waiting for him to do it, so I did everything that the horrible book (‘He’s Just Not That Into You’) told me to not do, and asked him out.

He said yes, and so we made plans for a Friday date so that we weren’t going to be stuck having to either (a) head home early, or (b) be sleep deprived the next day at work.   I gave him a few options, and he went for two of them: skeeball and dinner.

We met up at a local place that has a mini-arcade and some old-school midway games, including skeeball.  He picked up the cost of the tokens for both of us, and we started with skeeball.  I’m one of those people who are great at talking the talk, but not always so good at the walking part.  In this aspect, my throwing skills were definitely lacking considering he was able to hit the 10,000 pt slot – twice.   He then dominated me in air hockey – twice.  And beat me at Tekken 5 – about 20 times.  At least we were pretty even in score for the other games we played.  We redeemed our tickets for some prizes; he got candy and I got a plastic bracelet.

Dinner was some thai food, and there just seemed to be a natural comfort there.  He offered some of his appetizer, so I asked if he wanted some of my soup.   We talked over a long dinner and he didn’t have any issues with going dutch .. “it’s just how I am, I don’t like people feeling like they have to pay for me”, I explained to him.  He understood that and didn’t take anything personal from it.

He invited me in to meet his dog and see his place, making sure that I was aware that ‘no strings were attached’.  So I went in and we played with the dog for a bit, he gave me a tour of the house, then we sat around and watched some tv.  One thing that I’ve always liked about him is that he doesn’t feel this need to distance himself from people.  While playing games earlier in the night, his leg would be resting against mine.  Or while playing a shooter game his arm kept brushing against mine.   So when he sat on the couch right next to me, I wasn’t surprised.  What did surprise me is how he spent a long time getting his arm up around me, as if with each step he was testing the water to see my reaction before progressing further.  Once the arm was up and contact was established, it took another hour or two before he finally kissed me.

Then another two hours of making out and fooling around.

Then sex.  I missed having sex.

Despite the fact that I knew I should leave (because most guys would prefer you leave after sex), whenever I made a remark about getting going he’d drag back over to him and kiss my head, saying he preferred me where I was.  Then we’d drift to sleep for a bit.  One of us would wake up, more sex would be had, my saying I should leave and being dragged back over to him, and then sleep.  This happened a few more times before he rolled out of bed to let the dog out.  At which point I pulled on some panties and a shirt to go downstairs to check my phone for messages.  Curled up on the couch, I blinked when I read the time on my phone.


I had a company xmas party starting at 5, and there I was sitting cross-legged, half-naked, with my hair a matted mess on a boy’s couch.  So when he and the dog returned, as the dog hopped up and proceeded to affectionately try and lick every inch of exposed skin, when he entered the room and asked if I wanted a cup of coffee I figured why not.  I just had a bath after all.  And there we were, for another hour – curled up on the couch with cups of coffee, cuddled up and talking while the dog laid with us.  It was a very domestic feeling, and one that I actually didn’t mind too much.  Then the dog jumped up and wanted to play, so I got dressed while we chased him around and played.

They walked me out to my car, where he kissed me (repeatedly) and promised to talk to me soon.  “I guess I can text you  now, or email you.  Or both”, he said.  “Well that’s kind of why I gave you my number the other day, I was trying to give you that option if you wanted it.” .  He kissed me again, and then off I went.

When I woke up this morning and didn’t have a message, I worried a bit.  When I checked my email and found nothing there either, I had a pit in the bottom of my stomach.  Maybe I shouldn’t have slept with him, maybe that had been a bad idea.  Maybe he was just like all other guys, being that once they get you in bed the fun is gone.  I sighed, and admitted to myself that I am the biggest idiot on the planet.

And then he texted me two hours later, and that feeling disappeared.

So here’s the thing:  while I’m not sitting there an envisioning my entire future with this boy, I can admit that there are various aspects of him that I like.  I like that we share common interests but not all of them, that he has a good sense of humour, that he is also a vegetarian, and that he’s demonstrated himself to be a responsible adult.  I also like how comfortable I am around him; I talk freely and tell him personal stuff, plus I’m not uncomfortable with the physical intimacy as I normally would be.  But there are a few things I worry about.

For one, he leads a very healthy lifestyle; his house is a testament to that.  Workout equipment all over the place, combined with the fact that he bikes or walks everywhere.  His body is a temple he takes care, but not to the point of sheer vanity.  Though I keep vowing to be that way, I’m lazy and therefore I am not like that.  Then there is the travel issue, being that I would be doing all the driving any time we go out.  Which normally wouldn’t bug me, except it’s winter and I loathe driving on snowy roads.  And then there’s the issue of our sexual approach – while I’m the type of girl that likes it aggressive and passionate, he seems to be more into sensuality and emotional.   We’re both the type of person that likes to focus on the pleasure of our partner, which could be good but could also be problematic.

Regardless, it was a great date and I had a blast.  Hopefully it won’t take another three weeks to set up another date though …

“It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.” – Roger L’Estrange


3 Responses to “Evolutionary Bounds”

  1. 1 h

    Victory is your’s!

    And people need differences. Otherwise, they have nothing to like each other for.

    • 2 keewt


      I wouldn’t say victory is mine, his intentions are always muggy. Dating is a headache.

      • 3 h

        Guys are supposed to act like that. We have neither boobs nor vaginas to attract the opposite sex, and it’s only so often that a woman needs a heavy thing lifted.

        Ergo, we must be mysterious, lest you lot lose interest.

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