Friday night saw me going on a date with a guy.

I don’t really know how to put the entire affair into words, so I guess I’ll just start at the beginning.

I rushed home after work, leaving late, to change outfits and get ready to run to the city for my big night.  I didn’t really put a huge effort into my appearance – hair down, light makeup, a simple skirt and tank top with some wedges.  I wanted a look that said I put some thought into it, but not that I was trying too hard.  Which was accurate, because I didn’t.  The whole drive down my stomach was somewhat in knots, not because of excitement but just because of my pessimist gene that started imagining every scenario in which things would go wrong.

We made arrangements to go and see Inception, which was my suggestion to which he agreed, unaware of the context of the movie.  He told me this as we met up; that he just googled the movie about a half hour before we met up so he had an idea of what it was about.  It sounded ‘alright’, he said.  I didn’t really know what to say about that — the movie sounded amazing.

We picked our seats and chatted while waiting for the movie to start.  He brought me a present – a package of my favorite candy (something I had mentioned in casual conversation the week before).  He complimented me on my outfit, indicating that it was nice and accentuated my figure nicely (without sounding too creepy).   The conversation flowed easily until the movie began.  He leaned over to comment on the trailers, but  never too far as to intrude too much on my space.

He ended up liking the movie, and after we decided to grab a late dinner that went on for about two hours until most of the restaurant had cleared out except for us.  We shared our meals and took turns telling stories, talking about work and family, common friends.  Overall the whole experience was nice.

Afterwards he walked me to my car and gave me a hug, being conscious to not be too presumptious.

So here’s the catch – he’s a nice guy.  It was a great night, and with that an amazing date.  In fact, something I’d quite enjoy to create yet again.

But he’s so nice.

Driving home I got rather frustrated and my  mind wandered back to Chaos – how about this time last year we had just our drunken encounter, and a few weeks from now we’d have started hanging out.  At that time I’d have started developing a stronger crush on him, one that never really came to full fruition.  It was a constant headgame and he was a dick to me on more than one occasion.  And yet, driving home from this wonderful date with this great guy who appreciated me for whom I was and wasn’t afraid to show it … my brain went into a downward spiral of why.

Why is that the guys I want, the guys I feel some attraction to, the guys I have this inexplicable need for .. why are these the guys who don’t seem to want a relationship with me?  And why is it the guys that I’m into, but not really into, why are these the ones who are gaga over me and want a relationship?

And thus I transformed into the stereotypical girl for about 20  minutes, driving perhaps a little too fast while being perhaps a little too annoyed over the universe mocking me yet again.  But then I got over it, and all was good.

My date has been attentive, but not smothering, which is something I appreciate.  He’ll message me daily, or send me a text here and there throughout the day.   Also nice is that he hasn’t been pressuring for another date; we both know it’s going to happen and seem fine with that.  I’ll be out of town until August, but I’m pretty sure by the time I get back something will be set up.

So yeah, I’m giving the nice guy a chance.  A second chance at least.  He’s slowly winning me over, even if it feels a little weird to have someone be direct and honest.

It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others” — Sydney Harris


One Response to “10/07/16”

  1. 1 h

    Like yourself, and try liking a guy who likes you.

    Maybe it won’t be crazy-nuts, but after the recent streak… change for change’s sake? Amirite?

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