Singularity

18Apr10

I had a strange thought .. no, a strange feeling … as I was driving to my friend’s place.  The one was having a party to celebrate her birthday, and as I found myself racing, already late, to make it to her party I found myself in a weird moment.

I wished that I wasn’t single.

I feel stuck in that phase of life in which everyone I know is paired off, and in which people expect you to be paired off as well.  Everywhere I turn people are asking me to do things, attend functions, but to ‘please bring a boy’.

That momentary longing for a partner — how much of it is actual desire, and how much of it is wanting to conform to what others believe I need?

I know that I am date-worthy, that I am a ‘catch’, and that I am pretty and charming enough that I don’t have to be single.  I know that I am single solely because of the fact that I choose to be single.  With all the changes in my life — my ways, taking a new job, making new friends, trying new things, and finally extracting Chaos from my brain — I’m starting to wonder if my relationship status is the next thing I’ll be modifying.

Hrmm, maybe not today.

I think, therefore I’m single.” — Rose Franken

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One Response to “Singularity”

  1. I often find myself feeling the same way-if I’m single all my friends are paired up. I feel like I’m always the only single one at friend/family functions. I will look around with jealousy in my eyes as everyone else has someone to be with. Someone to laugh, dance, have inside jokes with. Whatever.

    Then, the second I relationship some guy, everyone else is single. They are having all the “fun”-going out, meeting guys, dating. Being able to do what they what to do with consulting with someone else first.

    The grass is always greener, no matter what side of the fence I’m on.


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