The Lowest Denominator

02Mar10

I had this weird dream back on the weekend that involved a few men in my life, namely Chaos and co-worker lackey.  In the dream I was at some dinner at a friend’s house, but I can’t remember which friend but I think I was their roomate.  It was a large group consisting of friends of mine and my family and we were celebrating something.  I found it odd that co-worker lackey was within my friends group in my mind, but I guess I do spend more time talking with him and playing games these days than I do with Chaos.  Digress.

In the dream we all shared dinner and had great conversations and were laughing.   Chaos kept trying to hog my attention but I tried to distribute it around to everyone, which peeved him off a bit.  In the end my dad ended up spending a lot of time talking with lackey, and I kind of got the vibe that my dad liked him a little too much.  At one point I end up talking with lackey while leaning against the table end, and my father comes up to us and becons lackey to go with him and play some Wii (which was odd, since my dad doesn’t play games).   Lackey stops and turns, asking if I’m going to come along and join them.   I put my hands against the table to push myself away and feel someone grab my wrist — it’s Chaos and he gives me a look and says “we need to talk”.

So here’s the weird thing about my dream:  I don’t think it was my subconscious telling me that I need to choose between the two of them in a romantic way.  I think it was my brain’s way of communicating to me that I feel conflicted about being friends with both of them.   The two of them dislike each other … no, let’s be honest.  The two of them hate each other, and constantly are in competition with one another.   Co-worker lackey is constantly making condescending remarks about S to me, whether he’s around or not.  S does the same thing with less frequency, but just gets this growly persona whenever he walks into the room and sees Lackey in there talking to me.  Where Lackey calls S lazy and untrustworthy, S calls Lackey an arrogant ass.  Each time this happens I find myself in an odd situation, averting my eyes and shrugging.  At first I would try and defend them to one another with remarks like “you know he’s really not that bad of a guy when you get to know him”, but I just got squashed whenever I tried to play the peaceful mediator.

I think the reason I feel conflicted at times is because things with the two of them are literally complete opposites.  When I first met the lackey he likely would have screwed me over and struggled to keep casual interaction to a minimum, however over time we’ve learned to help each other out and have conversations pretty often, along with playing MW2 multiplayer together sometimes.  However with S it’s the inverse — we used to talk all the time, hung out and worked to help each other, but over time we talk less and he’s screwed me over twice.  I know I shouldn’t compare the two, but I can’t help it in terms of their stock value at this point in the game.

I know I don’t have to choose between the two of them, as I can easily remain friends with both.  I just found it interesting that my subconscious actually bothered to focus on this.

In other news, I spent 15 minutes discussing games with the guy at Gamespot today.  I traded in some old games and ended up scoring Heavy Rain for free.  He commented on my choice, and I mentioned being torn between that and Bioshock 2.  He told me Heavy Rain for sure will keep me busy, and I remarked that I haven’t even started Dragon Age yet.   He laughed and told me that I’m going to be very busy for awhile then.  We went back and forth about different games, and in the end he gave me all the pre-order perks for Heavy Rain even though I got it a week after release.  I’m going to chalk this up as proof that if you look pretty while talking gaming with boys, they’ll still recognize you’re a girl and give you free stuff.

Between two evils, choose neither; between two goods, choose both.” — Tryon Edwards

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