While I find myself to be the type of person who enjoys a good story and getting lost in it periodically, I tend to frown upon such things playing out in my real life.  I tend to view people who lie as being not worth my time because I believe in quality over quantity, and lying just seems like a shady practice.

I know I used to have an issue when I was younger with lying.  It wasn’t lying for the most part that was my problem, more of a tendancy to fib or exaggerate facts.  Stories always seemed a little better when things were embellished, and I never saw the real harm in such things.  But as years went by and I got older I guess I grew out of this, and with that I started to develop a dislike for people who indulge in such things.

When hanging out with Chaos one time I asked him why he lies so much.  His answer mirrored my reasoning above to almost the letter, which I guess chalked up another way in which we were similar creatures.  I use the word were because that’s not who I am these days, nor is it someone I would want to be again.   I can understand why he does it, but it’s not something I care to revisit.

S has been seemingly dodging me since his return.  I’ve tried to talk to him a few times at work, but his demeanor always sent off this vibe of disinterest in talking.  This morning I decided to send him a message on msn to ask a question, and aside from the simple question our conversation went back and forth for about a half hour.  It wasn’t something to move mountains, but it was something at least.   And tonight when I saw him at work his mannerism was a little different around me, which I took to be a good thing.

But … and yes, there is always a but when it comes to Chaos.

According to FB he’s no longer married.  My friends have been curious about his supposed marriage for awhile now, and keep pushing me to engage him in conversation about it.   I’ve been dragging my heels because I had this deep-down feeling it was all a lie, and I honestly don’t know if I can be the guy’s friend if I find out this was all a huge story that he created out of boredom.   My ability to respect the dude is perched in a very precarious manner on the edge of my patience.  I checked FB because someone asked if it still said he was married, and it doesn’t say that any longer.  Maybe he disabled it, maybe it was all a lie.   I don’t know, and a part of me would rather not know.  Ignorance and all that jazz.

One of my friends asked how things were going with Newton the other day, and I actually had to think for a moment to jog my memory of who he was.  I shrugged and said I never heard back about going to the movies, and it didn’t really bother me much.  My friend told me not to take it personally, “he’s a bit of a slut” he said.   And people wonder why I question my taste in men.

And lastly, I have a date on Monday with the minister.  On one hand I feel somewhat dirty, since he’s a man of god and I am … not religious at all.  He has kids, and is very active in the community.  We are complete opposites in so many ways, but yet he has me curious.   So we decided to set up a lunch date on Monday, as neither of us seemed very keen on the idea of giving it a go on Valentine’s day.  There’s something about the 14th that turns people into these hopeless romantics with a twinge of desperation.  Monday is safer, and while my actions might often seem to be stupid, they are always safe.

Lying is like alcoholism. You are always recovering.” — Steven Soderbergh


2 Responses to “Antithesis”

  1. 1 h

    I think lying is tied into self confidence. You notice it a lot down here in the South. It seems that the less educated people are, the more often they feel the need to lie and appear educated. Or, the inverse.

    I suppose it could also be tied to media exposure: e.g. the more you watch shows about what “life” should be like, the more you feel yours lacking in comparison. As opposed to, you know, taking pride in what you do and/or trying to do more if you aren’t happy with your situation.

    PS: Steven Soderbergh is the last person who should be talking about recovering from lying! ^_^

    • 2 keewt

      I totally agree with your opinion that it’s confidence related. I am a more confident person these days than I was in the past, but also I don’t feel this need to put on airs for a person to like me. I guess I have more of an indifferent attitude in that regard these days — if you don’t like me for me, oh well.

      Re: quote — it amused me greatly.

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