Fight or Flight

12Jan10

I’m currently wondering what the fuck I am doing.

As someone who loathes games and the type of people who play them, then why do I find myself playing them?

me:  it’s just harmless flirting, it’s not like I’m playing headgames with him

C:  but you are.  You’re flirting, and that in itself is a game.

I had some interesting conversations with C last night about what the hell I’m doing here.  I find myself flirting with the guy from new year’s (who I suppose I’m going to have to come up with a name for at this rate).  Chaos got brought up and I realized I hadn’t really thought much about him over the last few days.

C:  you should send him an email that says “We are now in a relationship.  If you feel this is not the case, write a 3000 word essay indicating why not.”

me:  that’s brilliant!

C:  but do you want a relationship with him?

My head has been kicking this around since we’ve had the conversation.  What exactly -do- I want with Chaos?  I’d like to remain friends, but then sometimes I do miss the physical closeness (not sex) that we have shared.  But at the same time I do have a small crush on the NYE guy and wouldn’t be adverse to playing around with him a bit ….

Hence why C believes I need to figure stuff out.  Apparently it’s not fair to anyone in this equation for me to let loose and have some fun.  God being an adult sucks.

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2 Responses to “Fight or Flight”

  1. 1 h

    Yeah, that is kind of a question that needs a definite answer before you move on to something else. 😉

    • 2 keewt

      I sent Chaos a message asking if he wants to hang out this weekend. If he blows me off again, then I pretty much know where I stand and I can officially give up on even trying to be his friend. Which would make me sad, but at least makes things a little easier.

      For the record I’m not looking for a relationship with Newton, but I think there is potential there to have some fun as long as everyone is on the same page.


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