The Subconscious


Ever since te new year began I’ve noticed that my dreams have been variating, but always have one common denominator — him.

We haven’t talked in about a week, in fact we haven’t even seen each other at work really.  I’ve put him back in my ‘people to ignore’ category, and we’ve both been pretty absent on Facebook.

Is my brain trying to compensate for a lack of Chaos in my life by filling my dreams with him?  I’m not entirely sure what’s going on.  I suppose on some level I could say this must mean I miss him, and granted I do rather miss hanging out with him (which I haven’t done since November now).  I just … I just don’t know.

In some dreams we’re a couple, in others we’re just friends.  I can’t remember much of the ones today other than one clearly pissed me off because I woke up from it with a slight rage.  In another I recall him sending me some private messages on PSN (nerd to the core, I am) that were professing love or something akin to it.  In one the other night I ended up going with him on a trip and a bunch of his family was there.  I was flirting with one of his cousins (or better put he was flirting with me), so he told his entire family we were sleeping together.  I think the weirdest part of that one was another supervisor at work was his stepmother.

I wish I had a better map to utilize to guide me through my subconscious and the dreams it spurns, but alas I guess it’s just meant to be a mystery.  Getting over Chaos was one of my resolutions for 2010; this is certainly throwing a wrench into that endeavor.

Dreams are illustrations… from the book your soul is writing about you.” — Marsha Norman


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