Outside Influences

29Dec09

Just a quickie post to not detract from the date post.  An odd thing happened yesterday afternoon, and I blame Facebook entirely for the events that occured.

I had a pretty shitty Saturday due to family drama, which left me in a very bitter and jaded mood.  I felt a little better by Sunday once the drama had dissipated to an acceptable level.  In between holiday festivities with family I was setting up date details on Facebook when I noticed Chaos had a status about having a rough day.  I made a comment to cheer him up, and this actually resulted in us having an entire dialogue in his status message.

An odd thing about this was that he actually mentioned that we hang out outside of work, so now anyone we work with knows this fact.  I always figured I’d be the one to break that bubble, but I digress.  He did it, and we talked back and forth, nothing fancy but nothing insulting either.  He seems to be making an attempt to be nicer to me.  I ended up going onto msn to check on him and we talked for a bit.

At one point I asked if he was irked about the girl not going to the party with him because it was a date.  The ironic thing was that when I typed that, when I hit ‘enter’, and when I waited for his answer I wasn’t nervous about it.  I wasn’t remotely jealous or upset; I just wanted to know if all this rage he seemed to be possessing was because he was stood up.  Apparently it wasn’t, and I didn’t feel this huge sigh of relief.  More like puzzlement, because it still didn’t explain his anger.  It was a curious conversation.

Later that day I updated my Facebook status with a remark about being lousy at returning messages, but at least knowing my place in the kitchen (which was due to the fact that I was cooking dinner while finalizing date messages).  And here kids is where things got really weird …

Not only did Chaos reply saying he ‘liked’ my status, but he went one step further and commented saying ‘I think I am in love with you!’.  I blinked, twice, then literally said ‘what the fuck?!?’.  My sister gave me a look and I showed her.  She seemed confused for a moment, then the name clicked in her mind and her eyes jumped over to me, eyebrows raised.  She was speechless.  I made a remark about how it must be a joke about the kitchen thing, and how he’s probably drunk.  She just stared at the screen and said nothing, then turned and walked away.  Can’t say I blame her.

I replied asking if he was drunk, and he said not yet.  I finalized my plans and shut my laptop until later that night when I was talking to C about other things.

But here’s the thing about all this:  I haven’t seen nor heard from Chaos since he wrote that.  No facebook updates, no further comments.  I messaged him on msn earlier tonight asking if he wanted to play some games online, but didn’t hear back.  Now it’s entirely possible that he hasn’t been at home, or that he hasn’t checked his phone ..  but I doubt it.  That thing is like a second penis to him; it’s always in his hands.   So I get this feeling like he’s avoiding me, which just puts an entirely different stupid twist on this.

I WANT MY FRIEND BACK.   I hate all this stupid muddy grey bullshit.

This is longer than I planned.  I’m going to end it here, sans quote.

Oh, and now people we work with will have read that too.  Yay rumour mill. *cuts*

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